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Speeding

from Bat Brains by Jakals

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lyrics

I can’t survive in the present
My mind always prevents it
I keep moving and that keeps me calm
Till I realize I’m not moving, I’m falling
I have no control over anything at all

I wasn’t always so anxious
I know just how I became this
I can’t carry all of the blame
I was only eighteen when I started
I wish somebody had stopped me

I’m just what I wanted to be
So why don’t I like me

When I was young, I saw that I wasn’t enough
I grew envious of everyone
I learned that I was flawed
I swallowed all of the lies I was told
And bargained my soul away

I used to laugh harder than anyone
I’d get kicked from my classes when I couldn’t stop
I didn’t realize that was my dissent
Against a world that made me feel like I was worthless
Now that I can focus, I have no fight left

I’m just what I wanted to be
So why don’t I like me

I don’t know if living like this is worth it
If there’s anything better, I don’t deserve it
I wouldn’t jump in front of a train
But I’d do this all over again
And it’s just the same action in slow motion

credits

from Bat Brains, released August 13, 2018

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tags

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Jakals Boston, Massachusetts

Indie rock but not exactly

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