Bat Brains

by Jakals

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1.
Porcelain 04:05
I am porcelain I am radiating All the things that I hate about me I want to be warm I don’t want to control everything Maybe I should stay home I don’t want perform for them I am wearing a white dress I know what they are thinking They’re wrong it doesn’t fit me They don’t know anything about me I don’t belong anywhere I’m always a stranger Everyone’s mistaken I hate to be on display for them With no ink on my skin Do they think that I’m artless? I want to be unseen until people know me I want to be unseen until people know me I am wearing a white dress I know what they are thinking They’re wrong it doesn’t fit me They don’t know anything about me If I'm worthless I don't want to know it If I'm weak I don't want to be If no one knows me Am I anybody?
2.
The garbage is leaking It’s staining the countertops With sewage pouring onto the floor I’ll leave it to dry Buy a cage for my animals So what I’m a hoarder Emptiness kills me Thought I was treated for rabies Nothing could stop it From growing inside me I cannot clean anything up I have lost hold I’m still hiding in the bedroom With my brothers and the tv So we can’t hear the screams I swore off of the first floor But now with the fire to fear I’m here on the first floor It’s all coming back My mom with a broom in her hand Beating the bat’s brains Out of its head I cannot clean anything up Blank stares at the television Oh how distracting Thought I was treated for rabies Nothing could stop it
3.
We’re breaking down We’re slowly corroding Our biblical mind is decomposing Falling for excess Falling for function We are the chief in our own subversion The beeping’s getting louder Drown it out With the sound of something else So scared of the sick So scared of the twisted Till we succumb to the folly, it’s futile to resist it Choke down the sense We’re slowly dying Oblivion helps to keep us alive here The beeping’s getting louder Drown it out With the sound of something else Losing touch Reckoning with the shadows Till the light is disposable and hollow When the power goes out We’ll still live for tomorrow
4.
If you’ve seen the fire Meet me in the town square I’ll be wearing gloves and Making shadow puppets on the city hall wall We can celebrate however you like I just want to talk Before the dice are rolled again And maybe this time we’ll all be dead Sweet smell of plastic This must be a dream Maybe I am just dying again This is not how I imagined it When the sun is going down Find me hiding in my house With the tv on but Barely watching it at all Can’t pay too much attention Because of all the palpitations Try to fall asleep But I’m too afraid that I will never wake up again Sweet smell of plastic This must be a dream Maybe I am just dying again This is not how I imagined it
5.
Speeding 05:38
I can’t survive in the present My mind always prevents it I keep moving and that keeps me calm Till I realize I’m not moving, I’m falling I have no control over anything at all I wasn’t always so anxious I know just how I became this I can’t carry all of the blame I was only eighteen when I started I wish somebody had stopped me I’m just what I wanted to be So why don’t I like me When I was young, I saw that I wasn’t enough I grew envious of everyone I learned that I was flawed I swallowed all of the lies I was told And bargained my soul away I used to laugh harder than anyone I’d get kicked from my classes when I couldn’t stop I didn’t realize that was my dissent Against a world that made me feel like I was worthless Now that I can focus, I have no fight left I’m just what I wanted to be So why don’t I like me I don’t know if living like this is worth it If there’s anything better, I don’t deserve it I wouldn’t jump in front of a train But I’d do this all over again And it’s just the same action in slow motion
6.
There’s been a parasite inside my ears For seven years I only feel it at night When the buzzing gets quiet and the bitter kicks in He tells me a story and I actually hear it It’s all the same When the orange takes me away I remember the first time I swallowed the brine It blistered my throat as it shrunk my insides Everything was black But tunnels beaming from my eyes At last I felt a purpose as I made way towards the light But the tunnels gotten darker Now I can’t see outside It’s all the same When the orange takes me away Slow down My hands are gloved in a silicone crust Love feels so sterile When you can’t feel a touch I’m withering in blue My blood’s running out In a blanket of mold my flesh has gone sour What’s left of me now? It’s all the same When the orange takes me away

credits

released August 13, 2018

Credits:
Produced, recorded, and mixed by Benny Grotto at Mad Oak Studios, Allston, MA.

Mastered by Jeff Lipton at Peerless Mastering, Boston, MA
Assistant Mastering Engineer: Maria Rice

Written and arranged by Jakals

Katie Solomon: Vocals
Jack Lewis: Guitar
Bredon Jones: Guitar and Backing Vocals
Zach Wulderk: Bass
Teryn Citino: Drums

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Jakals Boston, Massachusetts

Indie rock but not exactly

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